Office Daze
by Jessy-Fran
Summary: Hidan's day just kept getting worse... Pairings: HidanXTayuya and a small amount of SasoDei. A One-Shot... Probably. Rated for Language


**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Naruto.** But neither do you!

**A/N: **This is the first thing I've written for a het pairing, but I love these two together so much! I think they'd make a pretty awesome couple. (And I couldn't help adding some SasoDei, just for fun.)

Enjoy my pretties!

* * *

It's a Thursday and in my book Thursdays are crap anyway. I mean seriously, can't they just cut it out of the week and move straight to Friday? Thursday's the day which dangles the weekend in front of you, just out of reach and goes "Oooh, look at me! I'm a fucking extra day that you have to get through to reach the God-damn weekend!"

In other words, I hate Thursdays.

However this wasn't a normal Thursday, oh no! Today my fucking car ran out of fuel on the way to work, so I have to wait for a shitty recovery truck to pick it up. Then as I'm running to get to work (because the recovery truck driver couldn't give me a lift, bastards) the heavens open and let loose a torrent of water down on my already very pissed off and very late ass.

Mere words can not describe the utter rage I'm feeling when I walk through the office doors.

Occupying myself with the drenched contents of my pocket, I press the call button for the lift. The doors open almost instantly and I walk in without looking up.

"Hidan-san, you're late, yeah! Pein-sama isn't very happy wi-" I cringe. I didn't need Blondie giving me a fucking lecture on work etiquette.

"Deidara, piss off." I didn't even bother looking at him. Knowing Deidara he's probably be wearing some suit that pushed the boundaries between male and androgynous, enough make-up to put even Konan to shame and his gay-ass hair up in a pony tail. I kid you not, a pony tail. Seriously, the guy had some major gender identity problems.

"Hey, don't talk to Dei like that, he hasn't done anything wrong." Well, shit. I didn't realise Sasori was in here too. I look up to see the thirty nine year old's arm around his twenty-something blonde bitch's waist. As much as those two are my friends, seeing them together just looks fucking wrong. I'm all for 'loving who you want to love' and I'm no homophobe (hell, where I work you _can't_ be) but something about Sasori's utter control over the blonde makes me shiver.

"He's looks like a fucking transvestite Sasori, he doesn't need to have done anything wrong." I quip back.

Sasori narrows his eyes at me but says nothing more. Probably doing something along the lines of 'being the bigger person', or some shit like that but I find more pride in having the last word then acting mature.

Reaching my floor, Sasori practically pushes me out of the elevator. I swear I hear him say "now where were we…?" followed by a girlish giggle, but thankfully the doors close before any more of that conversation could reach my ears.

Now, about my fucking job. It is to be blunt, crap.

I work with a total money whore whom I affectionately call 'Greedy Bastard' but most of the office staff knows him as Kakuzu. Together we manage the financial aspects of the company, called 'Akatsuki Corp.' and although Kakuzu has his 'moments' (read: tries to horde the money and/or plots to embezzle millions of pounds) that is the only interesting thing that happens. Seriously, there are days when I curse my abilities with numbers, since that the only reason I got the job.

"You are late." I roll eyes. How many people have to tell me that?

"I fucking know I'm late." I reply, pulling my chair over and seating myself in front of the computer screen. Kakuzu calls me a slave to technology but that's only because he wouldn't know how to turn a television without an instruction manual. Stupid fucker does all the account work on paper and then expects me to type it all up. Seriously, I don't understand why he can't just learn how to use a keyboard. Lazy bastard.

"Hey Hidan?"

"Hmm?" I'm typing furiously, eyes not leaving the screen.

"Don't you have a meeting with Pein in about… now?"

"SHIT." I jump up, knocking the table and in the process managing to spill my coffee onto the keyboard. "Oh shit, shit, shit… He's going to kill me!" I glare at Kakuzu whilst dabbing at the wet keyboard with my tie. I never liked that tie anyway. Konan bought it me last Christmas even though I told her blue clashed with my eye colour.

"Couldn't you have told as soon as I walked in the god-damn room?"

Kakuzu shrugged, "Not my fault you can't keep time." With that he turns back to his papers, scribbling notes here and there.

I let out a noise of frustration, throw my now sopping wet tie at his back and leg it to the lift. Now is it just me or when there's somewhere you need to be the world seems to stand still but in the one moment you want to last forever, it's over all to soon? Yeah, that happens to me all the time. Like now, I really need to get to the top floor as soon as possible but the sodding lift won't hurry up.

"About fucking time." I hiss when the doors open. I practically leap in and go to jab the button for the top floor but stop when I see it's already lit.

"Don't use language like that around women, fucker." A sharp voice enters my thoughts.

I look up and see the female embodiment of 'pissed off' in front of me. Pink hair, pin-striped suit with trousers and a scowl that could melt an ice-burg. She looks just about as out of place in an office environment as, well… me.

"Good job there's no women about then, isn't it?" I jibe back, totally not in the mood to be taking any crap from some bitch, no matter now good-looking she was. Yes that's right, the guy who spends more time in the bathroom taking care of his hair then any straight man (I say straight man because, seriously, you should try to get Deidara out of the bathroom in the morning) is into girls. Women. Pretty hair, much make-up and boobs. Real boobs though, I don't dig the whole 'inflatable breast' look.

But anyway, this woman looks fit to explode. Probably into a verbal attack since in my opinion, they never damn well shut up. However before I'm forced to suffer such a cruel fate, the elevator doors open and I run to the meeting room.

Needless to say, Pein looks like he was chewing on a fucking wasp or something when I walk into the room late. I can see he's trying to keep his temper under control and it's taking all of his efforts. I grin at Pein and seat myself as far as possible from him because, funnily enough, I value my life.

"Sorry I'm late." I turn to see who, other then me was late for this frigging meeting and I am met with a not totally unpleasant surprise.

"You!" We both shout at the same time. Her face is filled with shock and I imagine mine currently sports a smirk.

"You two know each other?"

"Just met…" She hissed through gritted teeth.

"Well that makes everything easier," Pein claps his hands together and turns to me with a hella nasty grin on his face, "Hidan, you'll be working as Miss Oto's financial advisor for the next few months. I trust that won't be a problem." I can see in his eyes that he's just begging me to make some sort of contradiction, to slip up and make a fool of myself however, instead I simply smile and answer:

"Oh course, _sir_."

The rest of the meeting consists of explaining what I'll be doing, organising and assisting this 'Tayuya Oto' with the various financial obsticals of a project she's working on. Some big charity music festival or other, I wasn't really paying much attention. Besides, I'll get all the information I need later from Konan.

Konan is the company's head secretary and is a damn scary bitch when she needs to be. I reckon she's like one of those big butch lesbians or something, but Deidara assures me she has a thing for Pein. Personally, I don't know which is more worrying.

So after two fucking hours of being told the same things over and over again, it's my lunch break. Thank Jashin for small mercies, eh?

There's this café I like to go to, down the road from my work's office block. It serves things that you'd get from Starbucks or Nero's but for half the fucking price. Seriously, big companies like that are just out to frigging rip us off…

Shit, I'm starting to sound like that greedy bastard, Kakuzu.

But anyway, so I'm here at this café drinking my frappuccino (laugh and I'll skewer you), reading this crime book which I've been meaning to finish for a while now when this_ voice_ interrupts my thoughts.

"Hey fucker, this chair taken?"

I stop reading and slowly draw my eyes upwards. Yes, same suit, same scowl, same hot pink hair… Well bugger me, I didn't realise I'd be meeting her here.

"Oi, you even listening to me?" She snaps her fingers in my face to get my attention, not that she didn't have it already. Though I'm pretty shocked to say the least.

My friends have always told me that I give of this 'I'll-kill-you-bitch' aura going on that keeps girls from coming anywhere near me. Deidara's the closest thing I've got to a woman in years and that fucking transvestite doesn't count. Besides, if I so much as look at Blondie in a 'wrong' way, Sasori would have my ass on a plaque. Not that I would, seriously, do I look like a fag to you?

But I digress.

"Are you fucking following me around or something?" I shove her hand out of my face.

She huffs in amusement, a delicate, high-pitched noise that sounds strange coming from her and sits down at my table. _My_ table. The table that is of _my_ possession. She sets her steaming hot cup of coffee down and proceeds to blow on her fingers in an attempt to cool them.

"Two problems with that theory, genius. One, you were the one who ran into the elevator when we first met, not me. Two, why would I want to be stalking you anyway?" She says in-between breathes of streamed air. Happy with her fingers, the pretty bitch then starts to lazily stir her drink. Seriously, if a cup of coffee is that difficult to drink, why not buy a cold drink instead? Like a frappuccino.

I told you both, don't laugh fuckers! Seriously, they're hard-core.

"I don't know. Maybe because I'm a sexy piece of man and you're not getting any?"

"Says the guy drinking the 'Mango Passion fruit Frappuccino'?" She answers with a smirk.

The bitch.

"Piss off." I say, trying to go back to my book but once again it's _her_ voice to shatters the rare feeling of calm in my mind. I'm starting to think Pein might have hired her just to annoy the crap out of me.

"You know, some old bastard once said that if you meet a stranger three times in one day then it's fate, not coincidence." She speaks nonchalantly but there's something else in her voice that makes me think about her words.

"Ha, that or some fucking bad luck."

She scowls at me again from over the rim of her coffee cup.

"I told you before don't use language like that around women, or are you deaf as well as stupid?"

"I'm not stupid!"

"Could have fooled me."

This time I ignore her, something I never do, seriously ask Kakuzu. He'll tell you I'm always trying to get the last word in arguments. However, with this woman, Tayuya, I don't want to upset her or anything. Not because I care about how she feels but because she seems like the kind of person who'd tear me apart if she got too pissy.

So, instead of answering back I open my book and start reading again. Silence settles between us and after a while I look over the top of my book to see her painting her nails. I must admit, she looks even prettier when she isn't frowning or cussing someone into next Tuesday. Although she's pretty hot like that, shows character or some crap like that.

"You know, I've got twenty minutes before I've got to be back at the office. Would you tell what this music festival is all about?" I ask, not really expecting much back, but I figure that if I've got to work with this person I may as well make some sort of an effort.

Surprisingly enough, she smiles at me. Not a smirk or some evil grin but a true smile. Seems like she's really into music and stuff then.

She screws the lid back onto the nail varnish and then launches into this huge speech about music, the charity it's for and a load of shit like that. It's actually kinda interesting but only because she talks about it all with so much enthusiasm and passion.

Hmm, maybe working with this prissy, pretty, stubborn woman won't be so bad after all…


End file.
